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ACRO E-mail Archive Thread: US Air Force Issues (**1/2) [International Aerobatic Club] [Communications] [Aerobatics Images] Disclaimer: These aerobatics pages are developed by individual IAC members and do not represent official IAC policy or opinion. |
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Thread: US Air Force Issues (**1/2)
Message: US Air Force Issues (**1/2)
Follow-Up To: ACRO Email list (for List Members only)
From: ldytryon at icanect.net (Donna Tryon)
Date: Mon, 02 Jun 1997 15:10:54 UTC
:o) Just had to share these!
>>
>> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force
>> pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
>>
>> Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
>> Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
>>
>> Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
>> Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
>>
>> Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
>> Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
>>
>> Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
>> Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
>>
>> Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
>> Solution: "Evidence removed."
>>
>> Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
>> Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
>>
>> Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
>> Solution: "Live bugs on order."
>>
>> Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
>> Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
>>
>> Problem: "IFF inoperative."
>> Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
>>
>> Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
>> Solution: "That's what they're there for."
>>
>> Problem: "Number three engine missing."
>> Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
>>
>> Submitted by: Rick Archer at mum.edu
>>
>> \\|//
>> (o o) ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR
MAILING LIST
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE? HELP! I NEED A HUMAN!
>> It's free! Just send a message to Relax! Send Steve a note at
>> oracle-list-subscribe at synapse.net oracle at synapse.net
>>
>> WHERE DO I SEND JOKES? UNSUBSCRIBING? OTHER QUESTIONS?
>> oracle-humor at synapse.net oracle-list-help at synapse.net
>>
>> WHERE'S THE WEBSITE?
>> http://www.synapse.net/~oracle/Contents/HumorArch.html
>>
>> LEGAL STUFF: Steven Willoughby is not the author of this piece, and
>> does not claim to own any copyright privileges to it. The work was
>> submitted to him as an item for the mailing list, and it was posted
>> solely on the basis of its quality. This list is nonprofit.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Will & Donna Tryon
{{{{{{{{{{{{Love & Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}
Donna Tryon